May 22, 2011
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…dear the rapture…
i cannot speak for any of the actual heathens, but i assume that the reason i’m still waiting here is that i woke up with a cold yesterday morning. naturally, i would have thought that a cold was something that i could have left behind; however, it seems that i have been passed over due to this untimely illness. i would like to point out that i had no influence over the fact that i caught the cold. if i’d had the option, i would have politely passed on the whole ordeal.
i hope that you will be willing to take a second look at my circumstances, and perhaps make an amendment to your previous judgment call. if you will let me know the next soonest possible departure time, i will take every precaution to make certain that i am ready for that happy occasion.
thank you, in advance, for your time and consideration. i will be patiently awaiting your response.
sincerely,
well, you know who
